Childhood Train Trauma

Who's that man?
Why is he standing near my slippers?
Is he going to steal our luggage?
We're the only ones who haven't chained our bags
I told ma the biggest bag should be near the outside

Am i the only one awake?
Are my slippers still there?
Everyone knows my mum has 'hidden' her handbag under her head like a pillow.
What if someone puts their hands through the bars in the window?
Who would want 'chaiyaaa' at 3am?
There's a mad beggar lurking by the window.
That man is staring at me.
Is he thinking dirty thoughts?
Yuck
Asshole
Let me hide under my sheet
But then how will i know if someone is going to steal our luggage
Why am i the only one awake?
I am the family nightwatchman.

i want to do susu
hold it
but its coming
i'm not going alone
psst, wake up
come to the loo with me
ufff
get off the bearth and land in your chappals
eeee cockroach
shhhh you'll wake the train

evil men
with big south indian mustaches and checked lungis
lurk by the dim light outside the loo
they smoke smelly cigarettes
they hang out of the door of the fast moving train
their lungis hitched up like skirts
they pretend not to look at us.
we put on brave faces
hard city faces
huh! we maybe girls
but we're not scared of evil smoking men
in checked lungis

In the loo,
gather your clothes
don't let anything touch anything
hold your breath
pee
tie your pajama
don't let the bottom touch the floor
kick the door with your feet
wash the tap and then shut it
yuck

In the morning
Don't take biscuits from that sweet grey haired aunty
She may be part of the biscuit gang
They drug you and steal your gold
the poster says so
I told mama not to wear her chain
but she hides it like she hides her bag
everyone knows its there

oh no
now that noisy group of men are playing cards
i can smell alcohol
there is a fine of 1000 rs if you drink on the train
or you can go to jail for 1 year
the poster says so
aha
the railway cop is doing his rounds
we'll be safe now
oh
oh no
he's sitting down to play with them
now i'm the family policeman

oh god
now my mum wants to buy omlettes from the station
don't get off the train
no i dont want an omlette
no i don't care if it's fresh and hot
mum the train doesn't stop for long
where'd she go?
can you see her from the window?
there's a crowd at the omlettewala
she's going to miss the train
oh no
the train hooted its warning hoot
mummmy!
everyone is running back
can you see her?
oh no! its started
oh god
where is she
is she on the platform?
no she's not in the corridor
oh god
should we pull the chain?
how much time should we wait before we pull it?
tick tick one
tick tick two
tick tick - my potty is coming
ok i see her
god
thank god

the omlettes are yummy

bombay is coming
so is my potty
will i be able to hold on till we get home?
hurry up train
i shouldn't have eaten that omlette
i can't go back to that loo
oho
now all we can see are people doing potty on the tracks
welcome to bombay
try and think of something else
school starts tomorrow
i haven't done my homework
this is making my potty come even more

are you ok?
you're looking sick
whats wrong?
i tell you,
we enter this city and the kids look ill...
lose their colour in a day

lets get on another train and go off again!

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I remember:

Seeing Santa Claus in blue Bata chappals

An earthquake

A thermometer breaking & the mercury rolling up into little metal balls

Trying to fill the pockets of my green dress with water

A bee stinging my mother’s arm

Walking around the house on tip toes as if I were in heels

Looking for my dog Snowy

Copying UrmilaParmila drink their tea

A fat neighbour

Watching the coconut oil melt in a mug of hot water

Sitting on the pot, waiting for my mum to wash my bum

Malai-cheeni on toast

Somersaults in the grass

Thinking my car-seat steering wheel, actually controlled the car

Playing house-house and doctor-doctor

Being petrified during holi

Watching my mum wax

Running around naked on hot summer days

Sitting on newspaper and eating litchis dripping with juice

I remember having the best childhood ever